sigh

Cheer n School.... same old problems....

2005-03-27T00:52:00.000-08:00

Ok....in cheer meeting Chee Wei told us the amount of practices n gym classes left till competition...well this wouldnt b the first time coz he said it on library duty too...During library duty well there r a few cheerleaders..so we basically talk bout cheer like all the 'issues' there is in the girls squad....well im glad that Sue yenn is not missing any practices...i know she really wants to b a good captain...we r finally starting on our cheer routine... new members or should i say 'toinks' or 'kiddies' were added into cheer 2005 routine.... the whole time we practiced girls squad i just felt frusrated coz of the rate we r goin wif it....its soo slow... the practice is sooo dull n boring... to me....i felt we were wasting our time... coz we dun have much anyway...but cc, sue yenn n deanna told me not to b soo well how should i put it.. well sue yenn said 'kan ciong'.... dunno whether correct spelling or what.... mayb im too concerned wif everyting that im too worked up by it... practice is goin to b on wed, fri n sat every week 4 seniors...i keep on thinkin on cheer that im soo scared i wont do well in my studies..... im thinkin bout our dance..its too hard...n i dun want the allstars dance it doesnt have any difficulty or style...soo boring... me, mitra n cc will b tryin to rechereograph a few parts to make it easier....plus our stunts suck.... mayb there is still hope......... Im really really afraid of my studies like crazy now... n cheer is on top of my mind.. i have no idea how cw organise his time coz he is soo clever n a great cheerleader.... how do ppl do it??? I feel i need to put my priorities straight.... i luv cheer but i dun want to disappoint my parents n myself......most ppl just quit instead of workin it out... mayb quiting is da easy way out....i keep on tellin myself i'll never quit.....i want to make it through to the finals.... n win CHAMPION.... that's the oni option but that doesnt change anythin bout studies... some of da members take cheer soo easy but do they really really know what state or situation r we in now?? They r not helping..... why?? if they know we r not ready yet...plus there r soo many things to think bout in da routine....why dont they help...they just give stupid excuses... i just hate it.... i have no idea whether the juniors r goin to buck up...they r slow but who can blame them.... they r new... some of them really get on my nerves.....but i just have to keep remindin myself to keep calm n remember that without them.. mayb we wont b goin to the competition at all....they r the future generation of our squad... if we keep thinkin bout ourselves only.... when we go... what will happen to vulcanz?? gone???!!! Look at the girls squad... the most it will last will b 4 2 years...coz after the this year's form 3 generation go away...we r oni left wif jing yi, li zhi, gesty........... n the toinks... we can train them to b independent when the seniors leave.... we have been spoon feeding them soo much.. what about the guys squad??? i am scared for them too...without the four pillars or the 4 comels... it'll b just wrong.... after their year.... who will take over??? tharma is da oni form 3.... then got billy...am i missing anybody??? i dun think so... barely anybody.... gosh where would VLC be?? the talk bout being soo close to each other n whatever doesnt matter if u know that in a few years time...the name VLC might b long forgotten.... all we worked for... just 4 ntg.... but that doesnt mean we have to give up... find new members.... train them up.. we still have time.... use it well.. really well....dun forget of our loyal members...mayb they might just forget u....look at mic n fei theng... aih... but we have to learn from our mistakes.... we r just human....a few tries will do it... 1st year best newcomer 2nd year best newcomer.... 3rd year?????? we have no chance is gettin the same title so there is oni 1 title that is coveted.... wanted soo bad... i dun have to tell u... u know it... u want it soo bad... n so do I.....

School starts in just 2 days time.....

2005-03-19T16:12:00.000-08:00

As u all know... school in startin just in 2 days time....i havent done anything at all as in homework n kerja khusus... i know i am goin to die in school of coz killed by teachers but sumhow now i dun care.... mayb 2moro i'll get a little panicky n start doin a last minute job.. but i still dun care... this holidays has really tired me down.... not soo much though... everyday got practice... i didnt go on thursday though i just couldnt.... happy that i finally watched the movie wif na... it was soo funny... well recently i havent been online alot... sorry na that's y i didnt write any comments 4 ya...

In the girls practice we r focusing on dance... i know it sucks.... me mitra have to teach some of kiddies over n over.... it gets soooo frusrating.... we keep on havin to teach the same thing n they still cant get it.... i would really feel disappointed if they cant master it up by end of march.... or not we have to find an alternative to it.... why cant they just get it....i want to dance it sooo bad during CHEER 2005.... im glad that sue yenn comes to practice often.. she helped in dance as well.... yik peng too has helped... but where is denice???????

Well 2day got up 4 practice.... na came to my house so we went 2gether...we started wif girls cheer then jumps then back to cheer....i dun think we did much at all... but what was really tiring was the hsbc routine.... we did it over n over... i hope i wont b blur about it... 1 or 2 stunts oni im afraid that it cant go up.. others i guess i have to practice more on....2day while doin the pull leg stunt... we all fell n jon's knee hit my stomach... gosh now i know how it feels to b punch in da stomach... it hurts!!!!! well i got better thank goodness.........then there was suppose to b meeting... i kept askin sue yenn bout it n she said it was 2day then when it did came time 4 it... oni leaders was part of it.... couldnt she tell me that??? i wasted my time hangin around when i could b home.... aih.... i ate lunch wif na who came to my house... then went to take a bath, read a book (didnt finish it yet though) went to watch tv again... then i came online... nobody is really on so that gave me time to write this blog... finally 2day i can catch up reading blogs... now i know y he was soo quiet.... i dun see whats da point anyway....

Im goin to gym later n i have to remember to pick na up... i have to get that front handspring.. n hopefully have time to train on some of the stunts..... i really hope hsbc is goin to b great!!!!!!!!

Tiring day...

2005-03-14T22:46:00.000-08:00

Well i am quite tired 2day... last nite cheng choo called me... she said that sue yenn n denice might not come... but yik peng will.. she gave me a list of what we're suppose to do followed by the time... i was kinda excited coz it'll b my first time leading... or should i say helpin to lead... went to practice but no leader in sight... have to say im not surprised.. goin to get used to it... me n fellow members waited 4 others to come coz well there were so little of us compared to the guys... we stretched, cheered, jumped, danced n did stunts... i think that we did more in this practice than any other... this year not countin hsbc.. bout hsbc well cw chereographed a new dance to replace the ever boring 'shake that thing' dance... kinda glad... but i hope i can keep up..

Dance was the most tiring part of the day....i really wanted it to b done by 2day.. but still the girls r not up to standard yet.... in my opinion not bcoz she's my cousin or anythin but i truely think that deanna was one of the best there... i least she understood what i said... i feel like i was kinda hard on the members 2day... i counted like mad n hopefully loud enough.. but still not good enough... we went to the school hall n i was kinda glad coz there wont b the sun shining right at us... we changed a few steps... practiced hard... i kept on rewinding the song n asked them to do it over again coz i didnt feel it was right... sorry guys.. really... i didnt mean to b soo hard on ya.... well off to stunts.. did 180 elevator.. benice is almost there.. but gesty still cant get the weight control thing... aih... need more practice... well i hope the next practice i get to train too...

2day same goes 4 the guys.. cw wasnt there to lead... kheen ho n wai hou had to do their jobs.... well i think kheen ho did more of the leaders job than wai hou.. wai hou said he doesnt know how... hopefully he gets the hang of it soon... or not he doesnt have a chance to b captain next year... well we did hsbc... learned the new dance not till finish though... it confuses me sumtimes... cc n cw thinks that we should quit on the lose my breath dance n chereograph a new cheer dance mostly on motions... coz members still cant get the dance yet... well they r ready to help.. but deep inside i dun want to give up on that dance... i love it.... i enjoy doin it... n if they cancel it... all the hard work of chereographin will go down the drain.... all of the hard work of trainin goes all down the drain.... everything.... i cant wait to perform it in CHEER 2005 but by the way the leaders r thinkin... we might not do it.... mayb just mayb i cant do the dance anymore......

For such a long time..

2005-03-07T23:11:00.000-08:00

Well... its been a long time since i blogged..but since ppl keep on pestering me (u know who u r ppl) to blog.. i thought why not so they wouldnt think i'm a snorlax ( like sumone said) ... Obviously i hadnt blogged for awhile coz i have no idea or plainly i just am too lazy.. i mean there are a lot of shows goin on tv, k? Remember i am a tv addict... :P

I am soo glad that The o.c. n nip/tuck is comin back for season 2.. cant wait to watch it... i wonder what happened to One Tree Hill..???? i want it back too!!!!!!!!! Anyway, chee wei told me that the leaders talked bout our 'problems' in our squad.. he said the girls squad might b 'revived' after this 'talk'.... eventhough i would want it to b true.. sumwhere deep inside is sayin that no matter what they talk bout ntg can solve the so-called 'problems' we have... yet i'm not giving up.. on wednesday we r showing the leaders the ending part of the 'lose my breath' dance... i really really really hope they would like it actually make it LUV it...

My teachers already started giving us kerjs khusus.. im truly scared... all i can think of is whether i can pass it up on time.. would i do a great job n get A.... i need all A's 4 exams.. i want it soo bad... Jon said not to go crazy wif studies n become like Mic... obviously i wouldnt.. but still i have to remember to whack him on wednesday coz he apparently thinks i will 4get it anyway... we spent one whole chattin time just talkin bout whether i would actually remember... really stupid.. but its an interestin challenge.. he said i couldnt write it on notes to remind myself nor ppl to remind me... he never said anything bout bloggin... lol... while i am writin this.. i c that he just signed in..

Anyway.... i hope that cheer really doesnt take most of my time... i want hsbc to b a blast... i cant remember but someone said that hsbc's sponsor is not really 100 percent is gonna sponsor... they wont if we suck of coz... hopefully we'll b great... 18 march just 11 days to go... Cheer 2005 just 4 months to go.... PMR just 7 months to go.... great... just great....

Finally.... a day to rest....

2005-02-27T18:01:00.000-08:00

Today at last i can wake up late after a long n tiring week of studyin.............. I finally woke up late today at around 1 sumthin in da afternoon... but now i feel i got aches of over my body... aih.. this is what u get from gym class... i still dont think i strecthed enough to b more flexible... i guess i am never goin there... so that brings me to the cheer audition which is suppose to b held on wednesday... from all the categories the only thing i am well at is dance... that's it!!!!! so say i can say bye bye to CHEER 2005.

When i thought everything was over......I got some results for my exam already... n they suck!!!! i feel soo frusrated n disappointed that all my hard work of studyin till late nites have gone down the drain... its soo sickening... even English my best subject.. well i only got the 1st paper but still it is worst than i ever ever expected... so far i got nuthin 90 over... :( Even the ppl in my class who alwayz get lower than me got higher than me... i mean sejarah i was confident wif it... remembered it like a psychotic person.... yet i got lower than i wished for... i feel this year is goin to b a horrible year 4 me... it started off bad... n i bet its gonna end bad...

Anyway.... i really really hope that this doesnt happen for pmr... n of coz in Cheer 2005.....
I can just wait 4 all my test results to come.. n take it wif one eye closed... Wish me luck in da audition!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p/s : HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hmm..... what do ya think?????

2005-02-25T17:25:00.000-08:00

Well on a special request... lol... from my beloved cute cousin... i have a FEW question 4 u guys to answer.... well its kinda a lot... :P

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

That's it... dun hold ur breath!!! tell me the answers!!!!!!! lol....

Unwritten........

2005-02-22T15:09:00.000-08:00

Well.... i am now listening this song.... And sumhow i just luv it... so instead of the usual blog i decided to put some of its lyrics for u to read.............
ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unwritten- Natasha Beddingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your innovations
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten...............

Oh, oh, oh
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way.........

Giving a chance.....

2005-02-21T18:29:00.000-08:00

Like the title said... givin a chance...
Vulcanz,
As u know this year's captain n co-captains started off their leadership in a wrong way...
Most of us now think they r not capable in leadin the squad bcoz they r too busy wif their personal life to spare time 4 us...
Well yah its true... mayb if we give them time mayb sumthin would come out of it... i am sick of the ways things were goin n ARE goin.. but i think they r gonna try n change their ways.. hopefully 4 da better of our squad.... aih... i c the boys squad actually goin sumwhere...
What about girls squad???!!! *sigh*

There r some of us who r workin hard but what bout OTHERS?? WHAT R THEY DOING???!!!! Some just come to practice n just lay around... From now on every practice is VERY important... we think we have lots of time left till CHEER 2005 but we're wrong... DEAD WRONG... most of the time we will have tests, major public hols, performances n many many more that will take up a lot of our time... That's y plannin is key.... I really really hope that we dun give up hope on our current leaders... I sumtimes feel sick when ppl ask me or even when i ask myself 'WHO U THINK GONNA B DA NEXT CAPTAIN, AH?'.... i feel that clearly states that we r lookin 4ward to our next year's leaders wonderin whether they will b better rather than focusing on this year's routine...this year's performance... it havent even started then y ask bout who's gonna b??

Simple... we r really afraid what's gonna happen after the seniors r gone.... GONE!! We dun give them credit enough... they have been wif us for years... they could have easily forget bout us n move on... even those who r done wif school still come to see how we're doin.. CHENG CHOO.... she has helped not oni mainly da girls squad but da WHOLE SQUAD as well.. i really have to give her credit.... CHENG CHOO THANK U SOO MUCH!! i hope we dun take these ppl 4 granted... n plz plz dun give up hope on our current leaders bcoz who knows what do they have in store 4 us.....

GIVE THEM A CHANCE...... or many more... but just enough....

I really really hope that CHAMPION will be in our hands, rite Vulcanz???????

Just another day....

2005-02-20T17:48:00.000-08:00

Well today is just another sunday.... i woke up late 2day... feelin good!!! i FINALLY got my streamyz coz it was givin me troubles all week!! and now im bloggin....

iM soo hungry rite now.. i just wanna eat...thank god my mum is sleepin or not she will be PESTERIN me to study... i know i have to n i want to coz i wanna prove to them that i can do better even though i am constantly occupied wif cheer... but sumhow rite now i am not in da study mode.... im am in da LAZY mode rite now... i am too lazy to sleep yet i m not lazy to watch tv or chat.... WEIRD huh?

Well.... i LUV music... it helps u relax... it makes u feel good.... n there r some music which just has da power to make u get up from that depress n lazy mode straight to energetic full of life mode.... current song that has a sudden change on me is from GWEN STEFANI!!! She rocks!!!

Vulcanz..... *sigh* there is a lot to say...
For the past 2 years... after da competition we get on da bus to go to school.... when we reach, we take up our big fat check that says 'Best Newcomer Award' n held it wif pride...
This year we wont have that anymore.... I really wanna work hard so that instead of 'Best newcomer' let's change to da ultimate ' CHAMPION'.... gosh i wan that feelin of winin it soo bad...!!

Yesterday when i went to gym... i am soo glad that i finally improve on my liberty extension wif da gals....!!! We can finally actually stay there!!
Well i better not point my toes on da stunt anymore (sorry na)... i cant help it... i am tryin to not do it... We still have soo many things to master up....*sigh*
We r still improvin slow as a team.... this just sucks!!!
Anyway.... exams r comin so vulcanianz better study!!! Saturday i hope we get hsbc done n hopefully all stunts r confident to go up!! (includin ours kel)....

Well that's all i guess.... cant wait 4 exams to b over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luv ya all!!!!

Bloggin.......should i do it often?

2005-02-18T17:44:00.000-08:00

Well... this is my first blog... if that's what u call it.. im not soo used to it.. so if ya find it weird then that ur freakin problem!!!!!!!!!!

What am i thinkin rite now is where to start.... many things in my mind has been said by others... the same things over n over again.... for me there is cheer... yah that may sound fun but its waayy waayy more than that... its a lot of work.... its expectations... ppl expect u to b perfect in what u do.. if all were perfect then everyone will b doin everythin.... Why is that when u try soo hard u end up a failure n those u didnt put any effort whatsoever succeed??

That's normal questions but i wan to know the answer... school... simple.... it SUCKS BIG TIME!!
yah... there's homework, all the hours spent just sittin down learning at class (until ur butt hurts) , lookin at ur watches wonderin when is it goin to b recess.... that's what we do, isnt it?
When we hear the bell ring, relief comes ot us... thinkin bout food n talkin wif close frens... aint that fun? But when we arent at school, we still find reasons to complain.... why is it soo boring... i have nuthin else to do... that's what we normally say.... that's when we miss all those hours in class talkin n laughin wif ur frens... just havin a good time....
Why cant anyone b happy just the way they r?

Hsbc performance is comin up... I am still not ready.. We ALL r not ready.... im scared that we screw up..... but who doesnt? Exams is comin.. gosh i am still not prepared.... I have soo many things to get done....... like my cute cousin Deanna (dun deny u r!!) said that they r so many things to do yet soo little time....

I feel so weird writin this but u guys ( na & kel) should b happy i am!!!